Chapter 14
Explosion
I stared for a minute interminable, wordless. I did not know what to say.
noticed my shocked expression, but went on firmly.
"Bella, I've been patient so far, I have not made hastily, did not I say anything that might force you to make a decision. I apologize for my limited patience, but I can not more waiting for you without you decide that the positions are clear. I thought it had to be stimulated in some direction, and I want to direct me towards me. I love you with all my might, Bella and I want to be with you. "
My body had become stiff as a statue. The muscles of the chest contracts that were so difficult to breathe. Jacob took my arm and gave me a jolt.
"Bella, something! What I want, or do not want to see me or you've chosen him. But tell me what you feel, please. I need to know once and for all, "he insists.
"Jake ... I did not choose me, I ... I I can not choose, "stammered while the heart was beating so hard it hurts.
"So that you can choose, Bella," said a deep voice and shaking his shoulders with both hands blazing. "You chose me, if I want. You do not have to do is say 'yes' "
" No, "murmured my eyes tightening. His hands shook and his voice I caught taking a bit of anger.
"Why not? Give me at least a thousand reasons why not continue to insist. "
"I have so many. But I will not suffer as first, Jake ... would not make a stand. Fall back into that, "stammered. I felt faint at the thought of being plunged back into nothingness. Luckily Jacob had to stand. He heard a hoarse laugh
uscirgli chest.
"But why should I hurt you, Bells? Mica I'm Edward Cullen, "then his voice became serious and conscientious, to mark the difference. "I'm Jacob Black." He opened his eyes on her, and I realized how was close to my face.
"I know your name," I murmured. "But have the power to hurt me more than it did him. "
raised his black eyebrows, confused. "How? Attentive to your life? I know I do not ever make if you are close to me, Bella. I just know that I have next to find the balance necessary to maintain control. Sam's experience has taught me a lot. I only have a problem. "
let go on my shoulders to take both hands and carry them to the chest fever, as he had done it again. His heart seemed crazy. More than mine.
"It happens every time 're beside me, Bells, "she whispered kindly. "Every time he touches me, every time he crosses my eyes every time I say something nice. And 'always so, and never cease to do so, unless you're with me. Only when you go it's like to be extinguished, or rather, disappeared from my chest, but I know why ", then with one hand lifted me a lock of hair from her face and placed it gently behind the ear . "Why take it away with you."
My heart was struggling in the tight grip of the lock, while my soul screamed in pain.
The key had become red-hot in his hands.
I burst into tears in front of his eyes. Unable to contain the suffering of my conflict.
Jacob smiled warmly and I wiped the tears that form again without stopping.
"Sorry Bella, I wanted to please you, not make you cry. I am a disaster, "he shook his head and laughed softly to himself. I tried to calm myself and say something that was not a hiccup.
"Jake, the disaster between the two is me. The problem is not your self or my preference for Edward. " Jacob became serious and frowned slightly.
"Please do not tell me you want to go with that bloodsucker. You can not imagine how much jealousy and disappointment he felt when you told me that she had kissed him! When I left it that way, you looked in a toxic abstinence, Bella. I'd be a healthier choice, outset. not a drug I would have been the air, the sun, and now you are free to detoxify the whole. I'll be your clinical staff. I will make you happy, whatever the cost. "
"Jake's not that simple," I murmured unconvinced. I knew che aveva ragione. Quando ero con lui, ero felice.
«Si che lo è, Bella. Io sono perfetto per te. Non ci dovremo sforzare , mai… sarà immediato, facile come respirare. […] Charlie sarebbe contento se mi scegliessi. Potrei difenderti come fa il tuo vampiro, forse meglio. E ti farei felice, Bella. Ti darei tante cose che lui non può darti. Lui non può toccarti come faccio io. perché ti farebbe del male. Io non ti farei mai del male, Bella, mai. E non ti liberesti me, even if I wept in turkish. But I would not be your nightmare. No. I would be your dream, the most beautiful, life-long. You just have to want it, "he said with strong voice.
"There will be a day when no longer so, Jake. Can not you get it? "I asked exasperated. How could he forget that special? Why only tormenting me?
left my hands and raised an eyebrow, confused. "Getting where?".
irritated wiped the last trace of tears and threw a dirty look. "One word: imprinting."
Jacob blinked black and I saw a smile on his lips. "Imprinting?" He repeated. "You're afraid of imprinting? That's it? Really?.
I was shocked by all that weight. "Do you not enough? In your opinion, what should I do if one day I come home all happy with the news "Hey Bells, I met my soul mate, I'm packing. Goodbye, "eh? What should I do for you? To laugh and answer, "Well, it was good until lasted? ".
"Like I said, I will not have the imprint," he said serious again.
"You do not know, do not expect the future."
Jacob did not answer immediately. His face grew more intense, and his eyes dug mine. "It 's just the problem, Bella?" He said finally in a deep voice. "Why is everything here, I'm ready to tear out my eyes for you to be quiet."
"That's disgusting, Jake! Do not tell even as a joke, "I said, horrified and frightened.
"You know what I would do it for you. And a price too low for what they would get. A bargain, even if I miss your face, "replied with a toothy grin.
Then he sighed loudly, and seized with sudden impatience, I took my face and forced me to look him straight in the eyes of fire. His warmth enveloped me like a cloud of steam, and his face was again inches away from mine. "Tell me, is just the problem? If there were no imprinting, you want me? "He asked.
I was asked the same question before he woke from his deep slumber. I had given myself the time to formulate the answer. I remained silent, thinking, trying to put aside the problem and give a sensible answer.
But I did not have time to do so.
Evidently my silence had exhausted his last reserves of patience.
his hands felt light on my face, and I found myself his lips warm, delicate and surprisingly timid on my own, in an endless kiss of sweetness. For a second I stood petrified and staring eyes, not knowing quite what to do. Meanwhile, my heart was going crazy, and there was way to calm him down. The key to glowing, trembling in my hands.
Jacob responded to my liabilities and became more pronounced.
A delicate hand that lingered on my face, drew a soft and hot from the neck to the shoulder, then down the arm. He took her wrist and carried it around his neck taut, while his lips were gradually getting on my passion. When he was sure that I dropped my arm, I released his wrist and his hand made its way up to my hips. The burning hand found a piece of skin at the waist and forced me to approach and arching his body against hers.
lips stopped for a moment, and mouth followed the outline of my chin, then explored the contours of your neck. left my face glowing looking the other arm, he wanted to rally around his neck as the first.
Then I found his arms around his waist and his lips to your ear.
"I love you Bella, and I want you to be crazy," she whispered soft and sensual.
I felt a thrill when the teeth touched my earlobe. was enough to make me return from the shock and to understand what was happening inside me.
My heart was literally exploded.
The lock that kept it safe, had crumbled, and the key in his hand my soul, did not need any more. The
I threw away.
was useless, as my attempts to regard Jacob as just a friend. My heart, finally free, sang the farewell of the old Bella kept her buried within him. Even she had realized how much he loved Jacob.
"I love you, Jake," I whispered with my lips close to his ear. And when I say I heard the explosion of soul.
I loved him.
I had always loved.
For some absurd reason, I did not do anything but deny it to myself and to him.
Jacob went out from my lobe surprised to observe me, and when he saw my face streaked with tears and smiling strangely, he could no longer control himself.
wild With a sigh, happy beyond all limits, rejoined his mouth to mine, his fingers sunk into the skin of my hips. But this time I returned, vigorous. As I had never been.
My lips moved along its way in a strange and incomprehensible, never experienced before - because Jacob did not have to be careful, and certainly he should not be with me. With one hand clasped his fingers through his hair, to bring it closer to me, in a fit of passion I had never tried before.
sank the fingers of the hand muscles in his shoulder to cling to him. I thought they were hard as stone, but I had forgotten it was made of flesh. It was not so soft, but not so hard to prevent me from feeling her silky skin, deformed under my fingers.
I did not know where to put their hands because I wanted to caress every inch of her body at the same instant. I wish I had a thousand hands, so I wanted at that time. It was the same for him, but he found it much better than me.
was everywhere. [...]
I saw, I felt, I felt nothing that was not Jacob.
no longer able to think about my concerns that had dominated the final period, and that froze my emotions in the bud.
And I did not want to do it.
The only thing I wanted was not to stop, not levasse his hands off my body still pressing even harder. I happy to shake his shoulders and to hear wide and strong.
Our bodies had overheated and was about to catch fire, but I do not care about. I never felt so much freedom to love in my life.
I surprised to see how passionate I was myself. His wish was mine, and the more her, the more my own. As the oxygen that feeds the fire. But which one was the heat and oxygen, did not know.
was an exchange, a continuous stimulus in both directions.
finally understood what it was that spirit that enveloped us both in times of peace. And even in this moment of uncontrollable desire.
I realized that what I had around could also disappear. That death was free to anyone who wanted to take. That the apocalypse come to destroy the entire universe, but we'd always been there.
Suspended in our little bubble.
Why did not need anything except him, and he did not need anything, except me.
love for Jacob was hovering in the air, and finally he met her.
At that moment it was as if we were one person. The bubble is an entity unique, and how she felt unless also included Jacob. How was the last piece of the puzzle of my life.
Rosalie was right in my dream. I never for anything in the world, gave up just one second of happiness with him. I would never renounced his lips incredibly soft, warm and perfectly modeled on mine. I never renounced the freedom to share the thousands sfaccettatute love with Jacob.
My Jacob. Finally I was ready to say it.
His hands were becoming safer and greedy on my body, and her lips gently and lust taking turns continuously by surprise. Every moment was different, was unique.
And never stopped.
time it had no value for me, it for him. It was as thought he was right.
Suddenly lips Jacob stood before mine. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me astonished and joyful. I did not realize that he had been dark. How long were we stuck?
"I can not believe it," muttered excited and smiling, his voice trembling with joy. "We kissed. You kissed me and told me that you love me. "
smiled embarrassed by the truth. "You kissed me first. If I had not done, I do not I ever kissed, "precisai for the sake of replying.
Rise. 'I take full responsibility. "
sighed, closed my eyes and lowered her face. "How stupid I was. Never forgive me, "I murmured.
Jake froze. I lifted her chin with a finger, and when she opened her eyes found him frowning.
"Are you sorry?".
Her performance surprised me wrong. "No, Jake, are sorry but no that. " I shook my head and explained with a grimace. "I was a fool because I wasted a lot of time and energy to keep subkey. A does not admit how much I love you, "I recognized.
His face stretched into a broad smile relaxed. "Well, better late than never , Bells," then gave me sweet kisses to his lips. I wrapped her arms and cradled me close and whispered in my ear. "My heart is broke and has been reassembled at the same time."
'I I heard it explode, "smiles, amused and happy than coincidence.
Immediately after the explosion, the fragments were sealed together in a perfect weld. However, a point had been discovered. It was not hard to see why.
I just a blink for me the big question. "And now? What do I do now? If you have the imprint I .... "
snorted. "Bells, if not I'll go crying to tear out my eyes. My only regret is that after I would not be a good show, "he said with a grimace in pain and disgust. I made his eyes to heaven.
"Seriously Jake, you can not underestimate such a problem. If it happens by accident, nor suffer too much, but you do not touch it, you'd be happy. "
"I think I would feel exactly like Sam instead. He lives in constant torment and ecstasy to Leah for Emily. It would not be a walk even for me, Bells. But I do not know, it's as if I knew, as if he was feeling inside me. I feel that you are the first and last girl I love so much and in this way. For this imprinting does not scare me. I feel that my soulmate is you, and no other out there, " serene said.
As usual, his feelings coincided with mine, although I had done everything to stifle it. This tune will never cease to amaze me. However, there was no certainty that he was right. None of us could see the future. No one outside ...
untied the embrace and looked at Jacob with wide eyes. "I heard Alice, now." Jake looked at me confused.
"Why? You can see I can not know if it happens. "
"Wow, you're right," I said taking his hands on the mouth. But there must be a way had to be able to see if one day I reappeared. If I had reviewed in the near future as it would have meant that I was no longer bound to Jacob.
who had his imprint, and I had abandoned. If I'd known, I would be prepared, and I would deal with the relationship with Jacob in a more conscious way.
"It's the same, I have to ask. I must try, "I insisted determined.
"As you wish. Too bad I can not stay I would have liked to hear the answer, "he said taking my hand and starting toward the red Golf.
"Come home to Charlie. Li is neutral ground, and hear poteremo together. I also wish there were, I came to my damn party even if the house is full of vampires. I would like to stay with me, Jake, "I suggested in the most convincing tone that I could. He opened the door and made me sit.
"Would you trust?" He asked sarcastically.
"Yes, I trust you. And I know I will never betray my trust, "I answered with conviction.
He stared at me in silence, then closed the door and went to sit in the driving seat. While they ran around the car I watched him, was thoughtful but quiet.
When he sat down and slammed the door looked at me with half a smile.
'It's true. I would never betray your trust, I could not. I admit I have a reason to hate them less. " She stroked his cheek and lips with his fingers on fire. I took his hand and kissed her fingertips.
"It means that peace is near?" I asked hopefully.
Jake raised an eyebrow and shook his head with an arrogant sneer. "No way."
Aggrottai eyebrows suddenly and hurled away his hand with a flourish.
"Ugh! You're impossible. "
Jacob did his eyes.
'Bells, do not get mad. I have a reason not to hate them because they want me and not him. But not to say that now I would drink a beer with them. Among other things, their mouth would be full of blood, which would throw up if I let my beer. We can never be friends, you know it. The reasons are the basis of our conflict, have nothing to do with loving the same woman. Have you heard the legend, right? He understood our reasons. Now you've forgotten? "Asked agitated.
"No, I have not forgotten, "I said struck by memories of that wonderful story and dramatic. "But it's a shame. If you might become friends, everything would be perfect. "
"For me it already is," she whispered in the dark. His eyes shone in my. He flushed his fascinated gaze.
"Hurry to take me home, I discover that maybe for me everything is already perfect." Jacob flashed white teeth in the darkness of night.
"Indeed it is," said cocky as usual. Meshes running and went at full speed toward the house of Charlie.
parked the old Golf the driveway of my house, next to Charlie all'autopattuglia. We got out of the car and took me to the door, but before I could open his hands grabbed me by the shoulders and made me turn towards him. I hugged and kissed me with enthusiasm.
He felt again the heat was mounting on my body. Again, the time and space did not make sense. When he let me breathe rested his forehead against mine and the tip of his nose with the back of my playing.
"Let that opens the door I whispered slightly trembling. I smiled and nodded. Loosened its grip and was about to take the handle when you stopped and started laughing.
"What?".
"Charlie. Who knows how it will react, "and began to laugh. She blushed violently, and I grumbled something incomprehensible even to me.
We passed in silence for the living room, Charlie was sitting on the couch.
"Hi, guys," he said and started to rise. "It good to see you here, Jake. "
"Hello, Charlie," Jacob said, without thinking, then fell silent.
Charlie pointed his eyes on my hand, whose fingers were tightly intertwined with those of Jacob. He looked surprised before his beaming face and then my embarrassment.
The joy on the faces of Charlie exploded blatantly.
"At last you have decided, eh?", And laughed along with Jacob, while I hid her face behind her arm. But I laughed, I learned from sudden emotion.
Then my father embraced him like a son Jacob just returned from the war, giving him many pats on the back.
"Congratulations Jake! Bella could not have a better boy! I'm so happy for you, "he said with emotion.
'Come on Dad, stop, "I protested, leaving my hiding and showing his face purple. My father smiled at me affectionately and approached me.
"Sorry baby, I'm just happy for you."
Jacob interrupted his idyll to bring us back down to earth. "Calm down Charlie, there are a few things to fix and people to clear," he grimaced at the word people.
I gave him a nudge in the ribs. Of course if they had not even noticed, and maybe I had procured a bruise.
"Ah," said my father at all worried. Finally he would never see Edward at his house. Or so he thought. In fact I had discussed this with Jacob. It would act like the Cullens do not attend my friends making me more vampires?
I looked up to seek his face. "Jake?".
"Tell me, love."
My father smiled smugly.
"I'm going to read the newspaper over ' and left us alone.
every time I thought that Jacob would come to our house, Charlie would have fluttered with that mischievous smile on his face tattooed, and that his presence was almost non-existent. Leaving the house for us.
blushed violently, again.
I cleared his throat to pick up the thread of the speech that I had yet to begin.
"Hey ... now we're together, what you'll do with some of my friends? Do as they did? "Shamefully stared pleadingly, hoping he read the answer in my eyes.
thought for a second.
"It depends."
"From what?".
"from him."
"What?".
sighed. "I know it's still in love with you, even if it seems to me absurd that you have left because he loved you too. I consider this an absurd contradiction. Furthermore I am not sure if they will stay in place. Also I'm afraid you'll change your mind again. You've done a lot of times lately, "edged look suspicious. I returned.
"You're comparing to Edward? You surprise me Jacob. I am in love with you, not him. Edward has become just a friend for me. it was before and it is even more now, "I said resolutely.
I had no doubts about it.
The old Bella had taken with him the last drops of love for Edward. What was left intact was the enormous affection for him and the Cullen family.
The affection was the feeling that I could try more healthy for them, and for the same reason, the feeling healthier than I could give to Jacob was love.
And I deserve to be happy without having to sacrifice in order to feel accepted.
To become the enemy of the man who made me discover life and myself. What I have never lied, and that keeps me out of trouble instead of attracting them.
When I was with Edward, captain of all misfortunes. Maybe it was that attracted him, not me. I finished it I just in the middle, because I was the weak link. But when I was with Jacob
nothing touched me.
And now also understand the meaning of all those dreams.
"Ever since I wised up, I always knew where to go, you know what stopped me. One day, engaging in a debate on a dream that I often do, so maybe you'll understand what it was based on my conflict. There are so many things I could tell you and rise up the doubt out of your head. Now I want to know if you'll keep me away from him as did Edward or to maximize the opportunity to show how you're different, "I added challenging.
Jacob stared at me blankly, then literally assaulted me with a kiss that bordered on violence. When he parted from me, was lit with excitement. "I love when you're so passionate! I will leave you calm, but on one condition. " Ugh, another that law, I thought.
"What?" I sighed still shaken by the kiss.
"I want to be around as much as possible, just to make sure that you do not jump on you like I do. Then right at the first opportunity I would like to talk with him. For the rest you are free to do what you think. I'm not the guy who puts chains. Also, you said you do not want to feel obligated. So do not force you. "
I watched him in wonder. "Are you serious? I did not think I was tolerant, at least not with them. "
"Well, the idea of making him suffer as I have suffered for their unnecessary restrictions, is very tempting. But I think it would be worse than seeing that when I kiss you, spare you with an intensity that can only dream of, "laughed vigorously.
The revenge he sought was as sweet as honey and as venomous hatred. When he wants to know to be really bad.
"Look, there's the catch," mugugnai signaling the start of the kitchen to pick up the phone and call Edward. I knew that my long absence was troubling him. Jake followed me holding my hand, still cheerful.
I was under the impression that he was determined to go crazy Edward.
I realized that I should to suffer to make them understand that suited him pull the rope too.
grudgingly went to the phone. Edward I called the phone.
"Bella?" Answered the first ring. It seemed more than relieved, was overjoyed. I heard the engine of the Volvo in the background, was already in the car. "You forgot the phone ... I'm sorry, but Jacob did he take her home?".
"Yes," I muttered. "Look, you go back and bring with you Alice? I need to see it. Here to me. " Across the
phone fell silent. He heard the creaking wheels of the car on the asphalt as if they were turning on themselves. "Of course ... I'm going to take the right away. And 'Did something happen? "He asked with a slight tension. I looked up Jacob
seeking support in his eyes. He shook my hand and walked me even more though.
"I kissed Jacob. And I want to know what Alice will see in my future. "
In the background, the roar of the engine stopped suddenly ...
Only the echo of my breath uncertain, broke silence that had been created at the other end of the handset.
few seconds later, the engine of the Volvo is slightly smoothed and Edward spoke without inflection in his voice.
"Well, you've made the best decision, Bella. I'll be right. See you in a few minutes, "and hang up.
"Bella, you know that I have no view on you, when you decide to mix them in your future. I do not understand why you have made to call, "said Alice in a low voice not to be heard from Charlie.
To prevent eavesdropping my father, we went outside in the garden in the cold, but Jacob held me close to if my body temperature was perfectly balanced.
"I know Alice, but I ask you to make an effort. I need to know if one day I'll come back, or disappear forever. I want to get prepared, "the pleaded.
"You're long gone, Bella," said disappointed. He looked at me as if I had just said goodbye. Then he perked up and grew angry. "And it does not help me at all! Now I can not see anything, Bella. Nothing, "said flustered.
"Calm down Alice, you also know that you made the right choice for himself. Not guilty if the wolves cast shadows on your visions, "said Edward, incredibly calm. Then he turned to me. "Bella, I respect your choice. And since I am a gentleman, I'll do it by hand, and if we want to see when your own terms, "he added.
"I'd be happy Edward. You know I love you, that I love you all, "I said hint of a smile, he smiled back.
Alice exchanged a quick glance with his brother and with a sigh, she calmed down and returned to my face.
"Sorry Bella, Edward is right. It is the fault of these beasts, not yours. " From Jacob
throat came a low, dull roar. I put a hand on his chest and stopped instantly, as if I pressed the "off".
"For what Bella calls I can answer it for you, bloodsucker. I do not see anymore, because my imprinting does not exist, "Jacob hissed. Then he turned to Edward with a look incinerator. "Which means that I'm never, and never suffer because of me," added the word marking ever.
Edward shook his head, impassive. "You can not be sure. "
"But you," Jake insisted heatedly. He felt a shock coming from his arm and spread into my back.
"Enough! You guys do not have a say! Only Alice can answer! Alice will ask you to please make the effort. Consider it a gift for my diploma, you also give up the party. For me this is more important, "I said desperately. I absolutely need certainty.
But strangely my curiosity was gradually running out.
The feeling that Jacob and Rosalie in my dream were right about the nonexistence the problem was beginning to become a certainty for me. But until I heard him say to Alice, I would not have believed it.
"The party is untouchable, Bella," Alice hissed. "I imagine that your new boyfriend is invited. For me is fine, but I can not do what you asked, not now. I need all the concentration that I have to see that far in time. I can only see that revolves around you, and right now is too risky. If Victoria ... "Startled at hearing his name. I had completely forgotten about her and her desire to see me dead. Jacob felt my reaction and I held her to make me feel protected. 'And babies, or the Volturi, make a decision that involves an attack, I would see! I would be committed to see the black hole of your future without knowing to what lies! You may reappear in half an hour or never! But in the meantime I would not see another, you understand that? ".
My stomach tightened and my throat came a muffled sound.
"Who are the Volturi? And these babies? "Asked Jacob panicked. Her body began to vibrate, shaking me. "There's something that we know? Have you discovered who entered the room of Bella? ". The plural sent my mind to Sam and the rest of the pack.
"Not exactly, but we have a plan. In fact it would be better that you knew what is around. Would you be prepared to face it, if there was a need. Come also to the party to be held in our home, we can discuss, in part. We'll find a corner where apartments without arousing suspicion among the guests, "suggested Edward peaceful.
I stood open-mouthed.
I thought that would take it badly, I expected to see the pain in his infinite eyes, as the day she forgave him for having left it. But his face is not apparent in any emotion than I expected. I did not know what to think.
"Well, I'll talk to Sam. I will take someone with me to witness, "said Jacob decided. From the way he spoke it seemed that she must go immediately, but did not move an inch.
"I do not know Jacob Black, your preoccupation is useless. But if you prefer to wait when we leave, there are no problems, "Edward said with a shrug, commenting on a thought of Jacob.
"You know I do not trust the leech. However I am not going to tie the radiator as Bella you did. In addition, both give the same hunting vampires, so you should keep in touch. At least until this story is over, "said Jacob. "Then who knows," he added sarcastically.
"It means that it is free ..." said Alice, surprised, but Edward did not leave him to finish the question.
"Yes Bella will not take away from us, "he said quietly. "But at what price," he added in a voice so low that it barely felt it.
Alice jumped for joy, forget the irritation of a moment before. "Yes! So we think of the diploma and the party! Tomorrow go on to take a pretty good outfit. You'll see, will be "special occasion", "Alice said, smiling and clapping her hands like a child. The news that Jacob would have left me free to attend them had driven the sadness in his eyes amber.
I was grateful to Jacob, even if he did it for revenge.
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